Miscellaneous

Hey all! I appreciate the concerned emails – to those who sent them, thanks!

As mentioned in previous posts, I am not really planning not to update here much anymore. I posted here for three years – three years where I didn’t even know my own thoughts, didn’t know how to follow through on anything, held a lot back and didn’t trust myself. (I will still post the link to the new blog when/if I start one). I know my previous basket case of a life would make anyone wonder if I was OK when I disappear.

Nowadays? I’m learning to trust myself. As I shed the self-imposed protective wall that has been around me all my life, the weight is coming off pretty much on my own. I weigh less now than I have since 2006. Still a little ways from my goal, but I don’t think about it nearly as much as I once did. I’m wearing shorts this year, have a tan and am much more confident about myself, both inside and out.

Honestly? I have found my purpose in life, am learning to expand and strengthen my mind, am making tons of new positive-minded and like-minded friends and am growing emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I exercise and eat as healthy as possible regularly and have also greatly improved my physical body. The metaphysics class has been enormously helpful with all of the growth and improvements. As has AA. I’ve become a positive, vibrant person and am attracting all sorts of good right now. It’s simply amazing! I have people in my life right now that I couldn’t even fathom having before… people I’m learning from as well as teaching.

I went and got an intuitive health report reading in Springfield, MO a couple of Sundays ago. I learned about my strengths and weaknesses and have already improved much of the latter. My main issue was self-doubt/self-mistrust. (As was probably evident in this blog!) I also had a huge problem in speaking what was on my mind. Last but not least, I was holding onto some form of self-pity and fear, which was causing my facial swelling. Yep, you read that right. My sinus problems and excessive sodium/water retention AND previous high salt/fat cravings were caused by negative thinking patterns! I’ve since learned that our negative mental thoughts and beliefs express themselves in physical ailments.

I’ve been forced to let go of one negative and toxic friendship. You see, people in our lives are reflections of ourselves. If you choose to surround yourself with negative and self-pitying friends, you are choosing to stay in that frame of mind yourself. I had to let a good friend of seven years go because of this. This person was trying his best to keep me entrenched in the negative way of thinking I’d been in for the past several years. Once I finally let him go, my cheek swelling did indeed FINALLY go down! In letting him go, I let go of that part of myself. It was an absolutely amazing release of negative energy. These days, I’m attracting like-minded and positive people.

In writing this blog for the past 3 1/2 years, I didn’t always speak my true thoughts. I wasn’t always 100% honest here. I was in hiding.

Anyway, if I don’t update here for a while, please do not be concerned. Life for me has become a journey of love, healing, learning and growing. I just had to become ready for good in my life. Everything I’ve gone through has been needed to get where I am. I have an amazing support network just in case I slip back into old patterns. And sure, I have occasional ‘down’ days and times. But it helps to keep myself in a ‘learning’ frame of mind. Everything is here to be a lesson!

I haven’t decided how much of my personal life I am willing to continue to share with people on the internet, which explains why I haven’t yet started a new blog. However, I will make a decision one way or another soon. I appreciate the people who have followed my journey since 2007. I only hope someone – even one person – has been helped in some way. Perhaps my journey could be looked at as a cautionary tale. As in, speak your mind! Don’t be afraid. Trust your thoughts. If nothing else, I hope people reading this who are currently going through their own personal hell can see that no matter how bad it gets, things can and will improve, especially once the person is ready for it. Remember too that we all have karma to get through. Whether you believe it or not.

Growth can be painful, too. It hasn’t been easy letting go of the comfort that my ‘wall’ has provided. It has been painful and a little frightening opening up to people. Some days I want to run and hide. Letting down my wall has made me extremely sensitive to negativity, too. Nowadays I just want to flee from it. I know over time I’ll be able to deal with it though.

And… that’s it for now!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Yesterday I flipped my mattress over and spent most of the day relaxing on my couch. What a difference it made! I woke up with pretty much no pain this morning.

As for the sinus infection, things were pretty hairy there for a while. I had been on antibiotics for 8 days or so and still my cheek was swollen. I spent a great deal of Friday and Saturday at a conference inside of a hotel, so there was a lot of air conditioning, which didn’t help matters. I was getting desperate! So, I fasted from about 4pm on Thursday to late Friday night (about 31 hours altogether). Then all day Saturday, I ate very little fruit, a few crackers and not much else. Basically I fasted/fruit fasted for nearly 3 days. I made sure to drink a ton of water and take lots of Vitamin C, zinc, etc. And what a difference it made! I was apparently full of toxins (and still probably am) because I was detoxing like crazy. I was sweating, feeling nauseated and lightheaded (super lightheaded at more than one point), felt weak, mildly feverish, etc. Anyway, my cheek swelling seems pretty much gone.

Here are some other things I’ve been doing to help get rid of the sinus infection: I keep my apartment at 75 or 76 instead of 72 or 73, which means the AC doesn’t kick in nearly as often; sleeping with my bedroom window open to allow the humid air in; using sterilized nose sprays (non medicated) a few times a day; putting warm cloths on my cheeks a few times a day; using very little (if any) perfume; and last but not least, drinking distilled water, as it seems to get things draining more than any other kind of water.

I also lost some serious weight (well, serious for me). Everything has gone down, including my stomach, waist, face, etc. On Saturday night my cheeks were both swollen from the antibiotics and infection and I looked terrible and felt even worse. I could barely focus on anything or anyone and felt like I had tons of involuntary muscle spasms as well as some other bad feelings. For the record, I was on Levaquin, which is a very powerful antibiotic. Never again, that stuff is AWFUL.

All of this basically screams at me that I need to go back to my fruitarian and vegetarian ways. Remember last year from March to October, I was eating tons of fruit and no meat and very little packaged food. In late November that changed and I started eating fish and packaged food again. And it didn’t take long to get sick with another sinus infection. Last year around this time I was vibrant and healthy from all the fruit. Obviously my body can no longer handle crap food. So I stocked up on lots of fruit and plan to do what I did before for the most part: eat lots of fruit throughout the day, then have a healthy dinner with cooked veggies (even potatoes if I want them) and whole wheat grains and what vegan protein I can find. But this time I’ll be taking vitamins, and I’ll allow myself fish 1-4 times a month (only wild caught salmon) to ensure my hair doesn’t start falling out again. Most packaged food will be off limits like it was before.

As for the invisalign situation, I’ve barely worn them in the weekend because I felt it was all I could do to fight off the sinus infection. Now that 90% of my neck and shoulder pain is gone, I will try and incorporate them back into my life more and more often. The problem is that even wearing them for an hour at a time causes pain in my neck to start back up, including when I put hot compresses on my jaws, take hot showers and baths, etc. So I’m going to talk to my dentist again today and see what else I can do about this. I am absolutely beyond fed up of popping Advil and Tylenol like candy – it’s got to stop and is not what I want to do anymore. (As of yesterday I am down to around 3 Advil per day, not bad for me considering I was taking upwards of 12 Advil and 2 Tylenol on my worst pain days!) My psychiatrist prescribed me an antihistamine (Vistaril) that I started taking as of Saturday night. It is also used to treat mild anxiety and sleeplessness but is supposedly non habit-forming. He said I can take up to six a day but I am sticking to 1 before bed. I don’t know if it was a factor in helping out with my sinus situation or not, but I figure it couldn’t hurt so long as I don’t stay on it too long.

So far today I’ve only had a pear as I got up late. I have lots of melon in my fridge and apples, pears, mixed berries, oranges and other misc. fruits. I’m planning to have sprouted whole wheat pasta and spinach for dinner!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }