Hey all, I know this blog has been SO boring lately… I haven’t checked my stats but I have a feeling there aren’t as many people coming here anymore.
Anyway, life is still chugging along. I’ve actually been under-eating recently, so I won’t go into details about it. I know it’s not healthy but everyone occasionally goes through it, although I’m pretty much doing it on purpose at the moment. I’ve been in a cycle where I’ll eat lightly for several days and then have a few days where I eat too much (but not a huge amount, probably between 2000-2400 calories). I thought I was PMS’ing last week but it turns out I wasn’t, but I am now. My body is still pretty messed up from all the antibiotics I’ve been on. I finally have my ENT specialist appointment next Monday. I’m going to see if they can prescribe me an antihistamine that doesn’t cause me to be drowsy or have other side effects. (I know, highly unlikely).
I had a breakthrough in therapy yesterday. Truth be told, I have been somewhat of an emotional wreck for a few weeks on and off and finally realized why yesterday. I have been unbalanced. Basically it all boils down to the fact that I have been acting co-dependent on the AA program, sitting there passively waiting for something to happen. I’ve been neglecting my spiritual path and such and relying on what other people told me and looking to others (particularly my sponsor, who actually fired me Monday night) for approval. I won’t get into details about why we parted ways other than to say that she was giving orders instead of suggestions and I had had enough. Sponsors aren’t supposed to tell you what to do or give orders. Anyway, I’m meeting up with another girl today and may take her on as a new sponsor.
Anyway it is extremely easy to get totally sucked into AA stuff and forget your own life. And once again (like last time, in 2008) that’s what I was doing. So it is going to stop. I will still attend meetings and work the steps and socialize but stop looking to others for approval and guidance. I mean, I know how to live life, I have been given an enormous amount of enlightenment, info and guidance this year through all the hypnotherapy and meditation work I’ve done. I just couldn’t put the bottle down (for long) there for a while.
So, I will now be attending 3-5 meetings a week. I have a possible spiritual/meditation class starting next week; more about that later (if it pans out). I am also looking into taking a class at a college. I’ve started to realize that I really want to get into the counseling/hypnotherapy field. (I know, scary right to have someone like ME working in that field? 
Actually I think since I’ve been to hell and back emotionally, I could help others. Of course it will take probably years of study, but I may as well start somewhere).
The Invisaligns are going great – I may be able to switch to my 3rd set of trays this evening or maybe tomorrow morning. I’m totally used to them now, no longer lisp with them and they are rarely painful – even when I switch to a new tray (which means much more tightening for a few days). My gums are a little sore here and there but nothing I can’t handle.
Not much else to update for now! I hope you all are having a great week so far.
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