So… it happened on the day after Thanksgiving: I ate salmon, and I am no longer a vegetarian. I woke up on Friday knowing in the back of my mind that I would eat salmon that night.
And I did.
And it was delicious, digested just fine and it felt as though my body was craving it. I had bought the salmon probably 2 months ago – wild Alaskan sockeye salmon, one of the most nutrient-rich fish you can eat. (I will only eat wild caught stuff anyway, farmed stuff is awful). Because of my hair situation and overall health, it had been in the back of my mind that I might go back to eating fish one day. But I’d bought the fish, stuck it in the freezer and mostly forgot about it.
I know I have gone on and on and on about my hair on this blog. Forgive me if it’s annoying. It’s just that my hair is one of my best attributes – or at least once was. I’ve always had long and thick hair (well, as of age 11 onwards) and since becoming an adult it’s been shiny and soft as well. However, as mentioned previously, after doing the high-fruit vegetarian thing for a few months, my hair not only started thinning, but was just… yuck. It was breaking, coming out in the shower and after the shower (full strands) and would lay flat and lifeless. I tried different shampoos – organic and non. I tried making changes to my diet, including adding eggs, adding fat, eating more plant protein, removing fat, etc etc. I started taking raw food high-potency vitamins (which oddly enough don’t seem to be doing much for me). Things would seem to work to fix my hair – I would get excited and share the ‘good news’ here – only to find out that it wasn’t really working. Up until this morning when I washed my hair, I’d still end up with several strands coming out.
Truth be told I had to ditch most of the organic shampoos I was using. Because of my candida situation, I was getting dandruff again and finally got sick and tired of it, and went and bought dandruff shampoo and conditioner. Since starting to use it a couple of weeks ago, there has been a slight overall improvement in my hair. I’ve been using it along with an organic body-building conditioner. (But my hair was still coming out).
Anyway, I believe that hair and nails are a sign of overall health. My nails go back and forth from being super strong to thin. (Right now they are suffering, which doesn’t make much sense considering I’ve been taking vitamins).
So, I figure I’ll eat salmon a few times a week for a month and see if it seems to be doing me any good. It’s way too soon to tell for now.
Anyway, that’s what has been going on. Over the holidays I gained a few pounds back. 
I’m not surprised, given all the sugary crap I was eating. I don’t know what possessed me to keep pie, cookies and cheesecake around. I should know better after all these years that I just can’t have that stuff in the house!
You know what my meal consisted of on Thanksgiving? We had: homemade cheese enchiladas, mashed potatoes, stuffing (which I passed on considering I don’t like it), homemade macaroni and cheese, pie, cheesecake and raw veggies (which I barely touched). There was also a cheese tray! I mean, come ON. Those foods are just about the worst foods a person can eat! Starch, fatty, greasy, salty. I could taste the excess salt. No WONDER I gained an additional 2 pounds back (plus the 3 from the week prior). I find all of those foods nearly impossible to eat in moderation. They are all highly addictive for me.
Is this what large gatherings will be like from now on? With no meat, will there always be a heavy emphasis on cheese and starchy dishes?
Unacceptable.
(Sorry, didn’t mean to rant. I was grateful for the food, it was delicious!)
Moving on… I’m really hoping to see the scale start to go down, especially since I’ve cleaned up the junk food eating.
Hey all, I’ve decided to come back from my hiatus. It was nice not writing about diet, weight or personal stuff on here for the past two weeks. Definitely needed.
There’s plenty to update on, but I’m hitting the mall so I’ll just do a quick overview. I was planning to hit a doorbuster black Friday sale this morning but decided to go to bed instead. So I probably missed out on most of the good stuff. That’s OK, I enjoy going to the mall and seeing all the Christmas decorations and crazy shoppers. I live only a mile from the shopping district here in Tulsa now (before I lived around 7 miles from it). So at least if I get irritated and want to come home, I don’t have far to go!
I picked up my new eye glasses on Monday (with the new prescription) and let me just say…. remember how I spent the last year complaining about my bad vision with glasses? And how I couldn’t see diddly squat with them on? Well not any more, my friends. My new glasses are not only adorable (I tried on probably 20 pairs), but I can see BETTER THAN I HAVE IN MY LIFE. At least it seems that way. I can see BETTER with these glasses than with my contacts!!!!
It’s awesome!
Thanksgiving yesterday was low key. Was nice without the turkey and ham. However, there were too many fattening cheese-based dishes. Such is typical, I’ve learned. In place of meat, people use cheese and/or starch-based foods.
Last week, I did really good diet-wise simply because I was really down in the dumps over family problems, so I couldn’t bring myself to eat much! (When I’m depressed or stressed I don’t eat much). I even lost 2 more pounds. However this week the family problems have been resolved, and I’ve been cheerful again, and I’ve been eating WAY too much crap. We are talking cheese cake, pie, crap crap crap. I know I have gained the 2 back plus a couple more at least.
Note to self: never ever again keep raspberry cheese cake in the house. Impossible to resist.
So I have decided to set a mini goal for December: lose 9 more pounds by the end of the year. (Get down to 140).
In other news, I saw a shooting star the other night. I haven’t seen one of those in probably over a decade. It was a rare clear (cold) night and I was on my balcony watching the stars. I love star-gazing. I’m hoping that my seeing the shooting star was a sign of good luck to come. 
Anyway, I’ll update more later… heading out to the insanity we call black Friday!
I’ve made a couple of significant changes to my diet. I’ll update about that more later as well.
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday!
by Rian on November 18, 2009
in Updates
Hey all, I’m putting this blog on hiatus for a little while. Will be back at some point!
Well my ‘emotional crisis’ has passed… I snapped out of it yesterday evening.
Nothing new going on in regards to diet or weight-wise. Same old, same old. Some good days, some bad. I am loving yoga more and more. I haven’t gotten onto the scale.
Tonight I’m having family (aunt, sister, niece) over and we may go see the 2012 movie, which personally I’m dying to see (although obviously it’s a bunch of hyped up BS). They will probably want to go out for dinner to somewhere with crap food, but I don’t mind. I’m sticking to fruit/veggies only all day today in preparation. So far today I’ve had lemon distilled water and a large green smoothie.
I’ve got some straightening up to do! My apartment is clean for the most part but I need to do some finishing touches, like put piles of books away, clean off coffee table in living room, make bed, clean bathrooms, take out the trash, vacuum, etc etc. (Am I the only one who loves vacuuming?) My apartment has to be sparkling because it will be the first time my aunt sees it. (She hasn’t seen my new car yet either).
Drat, I just remembered that I also need to hit the store… Grr, I may not have time for yoga today after all.
On a completely different topic, I often wonder why so many people are copycats. I’m really curious to know… I mean, I know copying someone is the most sincere form of flattery (so they say), but it’s annoying as all get out. Can’t people come up with different ideas? Must they copy everything?! I won’t elaborate, but I’m sure many of you know what I’m talking about.
Anyway, I’m off to do some yoga, shower, clean, then hit the store. My sister and niece are coming over around 3:30pm and that doesn’t leave me much time!
Update: I ended up getting a little bit of yoga in after all. My body just craves it now… like a couple of you suggested in an earlier post, I do plan to eventually go to a yoga class or get lessons. But I want to wait until I’m in better shape and a bit more flexible so I don’t embarrass myself.
I also decided to go ahead and have lunch because this way, I won’t be as tempted while we are out to eat ‘bad’ stuff. So right now I’m eating the single-serving version of this:
…and some of these (stove-top cooked, not microwaved):
Sorry I haven’t been updating much lately… honestly I’ve been kind of going through a couple of rough emotional patches and haven’t felt like posting. Unfortunately I have nobody to talk to about my issues because family and friends are too absorbed in their own problems. Which is understandable.
Anyway, I’m still doing yoga at least every other day and still making progress. My eating has been good on some days, bad on others. Haven’t bothered getting on the scale and my clothing seems looser, but I don’t think I’ve lost any more weight (other than a pound or two). Don’t know if the CD is working but I still listen to it every night. The ocean waves sound soothes me to sleep. And I do overall have a more positive outlook on food, health and my body. AND I’ve been eating lots of fruit and veggies.
Truth be told, I am tired of talking about diets. Tired of celebrities. Tired of celebrity weight and diets. It’s all just a bunch of hogwash. (Forgive me if that sounds bad, it’s my TOM and I’m grouchy as well!)
I’ll come back and post more when I feel better about things!
TGIF!!
Just a super-quick post because I’m headed out the door shortly.
I’ve been eating only fruit until about 4 or 5pm the past few days. My previous amazing fruit-energy, clear skin and happy mood have come back to me.. FINALLY.
I’ve been doing OK for night meals. Tonight I splurged and had a grilled veggie deli sandwich w/pasta salad for dinner. Not officially on my ‘list of allowed foods’, but not too bad either.
I’ve been teaching myself Hatha yoga moves. Every day I notice an increase in stamina, strength and flexibility. The human body is truly amazing.
Eventually I plan to try other more advanced forms of Yoga. Kundalini yoga, for example. Not for a while though.
I got another new set of contact lenses today (with the right eye fully corrected, finally), and I can literally see so crystal-clear that it’s amazing! Those people out there who have never had bad vision don’t understand how awesome it is to be able to see clearly again. It’s wondrous. My eye doc is amazing.
OK I’m headed out… I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!
It’s nearly 4:30pm and all I’ve had to eat today so far is fruit! Kind of happened on accident. I spent most of the day finishing the novel I started a few weeks ago – Autobiography of a Yogi. I’ve been reading it sporadically on and off since starting it, and today for some reason once I got back into it, I couldn’t stop reading. I am a speed reader, and usually when I start a book this good, I keep reading until it’s finished, but for some reason I didn’t want to rush this one. The book is absolutely amazing… I can’t even describe what it has done for me. It has enhanced my current spiritual/religious beliefs as well as added a new outlook… now I know why people say this book changes their lives. It’s certainly changed my outlook. I highly highly highly recommend the book to anyone who is struggling with anything in their life… wow. That’s all I can say.
I just ordered a ton of books from Amazon about yoga, meditation, plus several other books from the author of that book. As some of you may remember, I started getting into yoga earlier this year. But I didn’t really follow through with it. I learned a few poses and did them daily for a while, but somehow fell away from it. Well I’ve gotten back into it again. As for meditation, I’ve started back on that as well. I seem to be a natural with it (although it’s hard to turn off my ever-so-busy mind sometimes) and can pretty easily get myself into that peaceful ‘alpha’ state.
Anyway, I had an eye doctor appointment this afternoon, so the doc could check the new contacts I picked up a few days ago. They seem to be working well except for the right eye, which needed to be made stronger. My eye doc is awesome, I’ve never had an eye doctor who took the time to really work with me, follow up and make sure that I could see absolutely perfectly with no problems. So tomorrow I am going to pick up another new pair of contacts.
I’ve eaten only pineapple and a couple of bananas today, and while at the eye doctor’s, I had no trouble focusing like I usually do. Usually my vision changes one minute to the next. But this time, my eyes were steady. I’ve been sticking to a low fat and low sodium diet for the past several days (as mentioned in my last post). So clearly my diet does have a lot to do with my vision…
The CD’s still seem to be working, although I had a weird dream two nights ago that pertained to my body issues. I actually had two weird dreams that night. But in the one dream about weight, I was dating somebody new – someone I was really attracted to. We had a lot of fun together, but as time went on, I sensed that he wasn’t really ‘into’ me. At the end of the dream, he admitted that he wasn’t attracted to me because of my weight.
Hmm… not sure what it means! It could be some of my previous negative body image issues being discarded by my mind. I know when I gave up alcohol, I had dreams about alcohol. When I gave up meat, I dreamed about eating meat at least twice. Supposedly dreaming about an activity you give up is your mind’s way of releasing a habit. Who knows?
Anyway, thanks for all the feedback you guys have been leaving in the comments! I love reading it. And if you already haven’t, make sure to follow me on Twitter… I’m trying to reach 1,000 followers. I’m really close… so add me!
So, here’s a confession: one of the subliminal CD sets I bought from the InnerTalk site was for weight loss. There’s a music one that I listen to in my car, and a nature one I listen to at night. Anyway, I’ve been listening to them every day for the past week. However, it wasn’t until I started listening to the nature one all night that it started to really make a difference. For the past three nights, I’ve put in the nature CD and set the player to ‘repeat’ so it’s played all night long.
And amazingly enough, I’ve been actually craving healthy foods and eating ONLY healthy meals for the past three days! For instance, I’ve been springing out of bed in the morning and immediately making myself a green or fruit smoothie for breakfast. Then if I want a snack, I’ll automatically reach for fresh fruit or veggies. And speaking of veggies, I’ve been eating a lot more of them because I’ve been in the mood for them. In the evening, I eat my dinner and have none of my usual bad cravings for crap food! I’ve had a couple of mild cravings, but they have been easy to ignore.
This is miraculous because as I’ve mentioned many times, I’ve been battling crap food cravings for too long, and I’m ever so tired of it already. If this doesn’t work once and for all to get rid of the bad food cravings, my only other option is to go on a fast. But so far it’s working nicely.
I eat pretty much only raw food through the day and my dinner is usually one or two cooked items. So I’m technically eating ‘high raw mostly vegan’ right now. The only dairy I’m allowing myself is a sprinkling of dressing on my salad. No more eggs, cheese and/or yogurt.
I haven’t gotten on the scale yet and I don’t think I’ve lost any mentionable weight yet. (I refuse to get on the scale anyway since I’m PMS’ing). If I continue eating healthy like this, however, I know I’ll definitely start losing again.
Some of the subliminal affirmations for the Weight Loss program are: “I am thin, trim, slim and healthy. I am energetic. My body is conscious. My cells are conscious. My mind wills health. I like vegetables. I like fruit.” Plus there are many, many more, all of them having to do with health, food, diet, positive body image, etc. The strange thing is that when I’m coming out of a sleep cycle and I’m still in that “dream/awake” phase, I can actually hear the subliminal affirmations loud and clear. But then as soon as I’m fully awake, I can’t hear them consciously anymore. Odd how our amazing minds work.
Anyway, so that’s my confession: I’m using subliminal message CD’s to help change my attitude and habits towards food. Maybe it’s technically ‘cheating’, but who cares? I’ll take any help I can get!
So……. I went to the eye doctor’s today to get my new contact lens prescription.
I finally have a set of contact lenses I can wear that won’t hurt my eyes. I can finally SEE.
The right eye prescription may be off a bit. Thankfully this eye doctor is willing to work with this situation (of my ever-changing vision) and test things out until we find the right prescription. I have an appointment to go back this Thursday.
My left eye’s vision is so clear that I can’t believe it. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t believe it was me. (This happens every time I get a new vision prescription). Seeing myself so clearly after a couple months of semi-blur was awful. Apparently I have dull, flat lifeless hair and bad skin. I look absolutely AWFUL*. I seem to have aged 5 years in the past two months. Blah. My hair may have stopped shedding, but it still looks terrible compared to how it used to look.
I have this sneaking suspicion that the only way to get my hair back to its former luster is to start eating meat again. Which is something I will not do under any circumstances.
Oh well.
*I may seem to be really down on myself in this post, but I’m really not. This happens every time I renew a contact lens prescription. I can suddenly see myself clearly and usually notice things I didn’t before. Overall, however, I’m still a confident, cheerful and happy person!
I haven’t felt like updating much lately because frankly, I get so tired of talking about food, diets and health issues sometimes! But I figure I should at least do some sort of update.
Basically, I know how I need to eat to keep my vision clear. I know how to eat to keep my blood sugar stable. So why on earth should I keep eating foods that cause the problems? Do I really have so little willpower that I can’t eat right to stay healthy?
The answer is no. The issues that have been going on have been a true wake-up call for me. I absolutely refuse to be one of those people who know they are eating badly and keep doing it anyway, ending up with mandatory daily medication health problems. The food I was eating has already caused health problems. But thankfully nothing I can’t turn around with proper meals and nutrition!
By the way, I have candida, not diabetes. CANDIDA causes blurred vision! And the above ‘forbidden’ foods all contribute towards the problem. For the record, no, I didn’t get tested for diabetes. But I know I’ve had candida on and off for quite some time! This is why my former fruitarian diet made my vision so clear. If I had diabetes, fruit wouldn’t have helped in that department.
(If my diet doesn’t help the blurred vision within a couple of weeks, I’ll go to the doctor and get tested, however).
Moving on…
When I told the eye doctor last week about my fruitarian experiment and how my vision got so much clearer, he wasn’t surprised at all! When I told him about how when about an hour after eating red grapes that my vision would get even sharper, he also wasn’t surprised, saying “Oh, that’s because of all the tannins in them.” He asked me why I wasn’t still doing the fruitarian diet, and I told him because of my hair problems. (I should have also mentioned because of lack of willpower and fatty food addiction, but I didn’t). I should have brought up the candida thing but just wasn’t thinking about it at the time.
So anyway, that is what is going on with my diet. I had a fever and sore throat again last night, but it went away. Who knows what the heck that is all about…
Today I’ve eaten:
- a smoothie with grapes, strawberries, chard and frozen mango
- 2 bananas
- whole (blended) veggie juice made with tomatoes, a carrot, celery and chard
- green lentils and brown rice mixed together (a surprisingly delicious and satisfying combo!)
(Got up at noonish so my lunch/dinner was combined). I will likely snack on more fruit or veggies a bit later tonight.
