August 2009

Thanks for all the comments you guys left on my last post – I really appreciate the feedback!

Truth be told, I am sick and tired of the dieting/weight loss part of my journey. This is one reason I have been trying to “speed it up”. Sometimes I get tired of depriving my body of calories. I know when I get to my goal weight range, I am planning to weigh myself once a week only.

Yesterday I had a very low calorie day, but the day before (Friday), I had around 1700. Today I’m going to try and stick to about 1200.

The good news is that my hair problem has pretty much gone away. I’m still ’shedding’ a little, but my hair is SO much improved – back to normal. My nails are long and strong again.

The bad news is that it looks like I won’t be able to wear my contacts anymore… I went 7 days without them this past week in order to see if it would “fix” the burning problem. Well, it didn’t. I put them in yesterday and my left eye still burned like the dickens. I am so disappointed! I will be making an eye doctor appointment in the next week or so. I dread what the eye doctor is going to tell me. What on earth can be causing the burning? I’ve worn contacts since I was 17 and have NEVER had this problem! Ever! (For the record, it’s not allergies. I tried taking a Claritin one day and my eye still burned).

Anyway, it’s 7am and time for a green smoothie! Today’s will probably be made from red grapes, cantaloupe, frozen banana and spinach. I’ve already eaten a little bit of pineapple and cantaloupe. I love fruit! Love love love it.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

So here I am, up before the sun this morning. Which I rather enjoy. I love going out on my balcony and watching the sun rise (which I can only do during the summer since my balcony faces north/northeast).

I have a confession: I’ve been doing what some people would call “crash dieting” on and off for the past couple of weeks. Some days I’ve been having 1000 calories or less. Other days I have been eating 1800 or 2000. Other days it is between 1100-1350. I already know I’ll get some negative responses and/or warnings from some of you. That’s OK, but I won’t listen. (Sorry – just being honest). After all, this is my body, and I notice a lot of good things happening when I do this.

Why is that on the days that I eat very little, I notice a lot of good things? First of all, eating lightly makes me appreciate food. I actually feel hunger, and to me, that’s a good thing. When I eat three normal-sized meals a day, I never feel real hunger. Only mental hunger, if such a things exists. I eat as though on a schedule. And I don’t think that is what the human body was designed for. We are supposed to eat when hungry and/or when we need the fuel. I spend a lot of my day in front of the computer. How much ‘fuel’ does that require? Likely a lot less than someone who is on their feet all day.

On the days I eat very little, my aura gets brighter. (Yes, I can read auras, something I’ve mentioned in previous posts. Anyone can read and see auras if they practice and have patience). But yes, my aura gets to be a really bright whitish light blue on these days. The aura is the electromagnetic field within/around the body. (I also think the aura has something to do with the soul). So what does this mean? Well, I take it to mean that when I eat “normally”, I’m somehow stifling my body’s inner energy. On the days I eat little, the energy flows better. I also feel more physical energy most of the time.

On the days I eat very little, I get a slight euphoria. My mind clears up, I feel like I can think and remember things better.

If eating so lightly is so bad for the body as so many people think, why do I get so many good things happening when I do it?

Allowing myself to feel at least occasional hunger, in my opinion, is a good thing. I appreciate food more and I pay attention to what I put into my body. I don’t know why I don’t ever feel real hunger on days that I eat three normal-sized meals a day.

And what is hunger, exactly? Well, according to some research I’ve read (in books and on the internet), it’s NOT that empty feeling in your stomach. Or your stomach growling. Those feelings are supposedly felt when the body is finished digesting your last meal and your stomach is finally empty. And many people who eat elaborate meals through the day don’t ever have an empty stomach, because it takes hours to digest everything when everything is mixed together. When one eats very lightly, it allows the stomach to be empty at times through the day so that the body can focus its energy elsewhere for a while. And that’s a good thing, since the body supposedly spends more energy on food digestion than anything else. Once it’s done with that, it can move onto other tasks, such as detoxing, cleansing, healing itself, etc.

Don’t get me wrong – this is not a starvation manifesto or an ode to anorexia or anything like that. No no no. I just think back to when man was evolving and it just seems so unnatural to me to consistently and habitually put moderate amounts of food into the body at designated times of day just because modern society dictates that we should do so. (Plus snacks). When I am eating very lightly, I tend to graze on mostly fruit through the morning, have a light lunch of fruit, veggies and/or yogurt, and more soup and vegetables/fruit at night.

Somehow, the way modern people eat just seems so wrong. Perhaps that is why obesity is getting to be a major problem?

So the gist of what I’m saying here is that I enjoy the light-eating days. I feel as though I am training my body to appreciate food and eat less. When I eventually get to my goal weight, I’ll have to live on less food anyway!

And speaking of which… I’ve decided to lower my goal weight a bit more. A couple of weeks ago I settled on a goal weight of 124, which would put my BMI at 20.6. But now I’d like to weigh 115-120 instead – BMI 19.1-20. It’s better, in my opinion, to have a range instead of a number. That way if I ever see myself getting above or below that range, I can do something about it before it’s too late.

Will I ever get there? Yes. I have no doubt in my mind that I will. This journey is taking longer than I like, but it’s OK. (Well, for the most part. Some days I get really frustrated). And yes, the scale has begun to move again with regularity, which makes me happy.

I will report my official weight here again just as soon as I’m back in the ‘normal’ BMI range for my height. There are just a few more pounds to go…!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Not much to update today… I’ve been having fruit for breakfast instead of green smoothies. I didn’t take a walk yesterday or today because it’s just too hot and miserable out. (90’s and humid).

I slept 10 hours last night. Apparently I needed it!

I’m still counting calories… it’s become a daily habit, thank goodness. I’m still eating mostly fruit, veggies, salad, soup, etc. I seem to have traded yogurt for cheese the past couple of days though. Cheese is much easier to digest than yogurt. I’ve also had some rice cakes dipped in chocolate almond milk. I know it sounds weird, but it’s good!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

You all remember that ‘euphoria’ I used to get during my high-fruitarian days? Well, I got a very similar euphoria yesterday evening. FINALLY. Where has it been?

Funny how it showed up near the end of a very, very low calorie day.

Speaking of which, I added a glass of chocolate almond milk to my intake last night before going to bed. Almond milk, by the way, is my latest obsession. I love unsweetened Almond Breeze – I’ve tried plain, vanilla and chocolate. All are either 40 or 45 calories for 8 ounces. All delicious. I’m thinking about making another batch of homemade banana ice cream, this time using the chocolate.

Anyway, I’m a bit tired today. (I’m not surprised, given my intake yesterday.)

I will update more later!

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

It’s a beautiful day! I am doing this post quickly so that I can get out and take a walk in the sunshine before it gets too hot out there.

My hair problem has already improved. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the supplements I’m taking, since I only started the yogurt thing last week. It’s still coming out a little more than usual but it’s no longer flat and unhealthy looking. It’s back to being shiny and manageable. I’m going to continue the supplements I’m taking and continue the yogurt at least every other day and see what happens.

I upped my calorie intake to around 2000 or so both yesterday and Saturday, mostly to keep my metabolism guessing. Also because I spent a lot of time exercising. I took a 4-mile power walk yesterday and also did the Airdyne bike for 25 minutes. The day before that I did the Airdyne and took the stairs up to the 22nd floor AND took a walk.

Whenever I work out a lot, I get more hungry, which sucks. And the scale not only stops going down, but it goes up a couple pounds. This happens every single time and it’s only temporary, so I’m not panicking. (Much). Today I’m going back down to around 1200 calories.

I have been feeling pretty good the past couple of days – I love exercise and sunshine, it always improves the mood!

I’ll update more later…

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

I had a very unpleasant ’situation’ with yogurt today. See, what happened is that earlier this afternoon after returning home from a beautiful 40-minute walk along the river, I had a carton of that new Icelandic-style yogurt I mentioned yesterday (Siggi’s brand). It was the vanilla flavor, which I’ve had before and loved.

So, something today was ‘off’ about this yogurt. I took maybe 3 bites and tasted something funky and weird. Weird texture. Yucky taste. Well, that sent my imagination into overdrive, as well as my gag reflex, and I had to sprint into the bathroom. I won’t get into details, but let’s just say those three bites of yogurt were history after that.

I don’t know if it had spoiled, or what, but I’m never touching that yogurt AGAIN. EVER. ::shudder:: No yogurt today. Maybe no yogurt ever again. We’ll see!

Anyway… then I get a call from the front desk downstairs and they tell me I have a visitor, whom I’ll call D. Well, I couldn’t remember anyone named D. They told me he knew me from ‘the 9 o’clock meeting’, which I knew meant the 9 o’clock AA meeting I used to go to. So, I still couldn’t remember who it was, but I didn’t want a potential stranger coming up to my apartment, so I rushed to get re-dressed (since I had showered after my walk) and went down. Turns out I did remember the guy, but I don’t know him well enough to have him alone in my apartment. So we went outside and talked on the bench in front of the building for a while. Turns out he is moving into a place across the street from here, and wants to start hanging out again. (He used to be part of a group that went out with all of us after the late meeting). He wants to be ‘friends’ but I’m not sure really what to do because I barely know him and I know he has some serious issues.

It’s funny how even though I haven’t been in AA since January this year, I still occasionally get calls from people. I’ve run into several people all over town as well. I even once ran into someone in a liquor store since I still drink from time to time. (!!)

Anyway… my homemade vegetable soup yesterday came out REALLY good! It was perfect and not salty at all. The banana ice-cream came out delicious as well but after having it in the freezer all night, it was a little tough to spoon into. The cool thing was that yesterday before totally freezing, it had a pudding-like consistency. I made it with bananas and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

First off, thanks to everyone who left such kind and helpful comments on my last post. I really appreciate it!

So I am down another .8 pounds on the scale… which is exciting.

I’ve been finding that it’s really easy to stay on track with calories when you really put your mind to it. That’s what I’ve been doing and it’s been surprisingly easy. Last night, for example, I got a few cravings to pig out on something greasy and fattening. However, I just picked up a book and started reading it to distract myself. And it worked! If I remain ‘aware’ throughout the day that I’m eating lightly (but don’t over-think about it, if that makes sense), then it’s easy to stay on track. I’ve also been keeping a food diary and loosely plan out my meals for the day in the morning.

So far, it’s working… the scale is moving again. I’ll go one day with a .5-1 pound loss, then the next day I’ll fluctuate back up a couple pounds, then down, then up, then finally I’ll lose another .5-1 pounds from the lowest number I’d seen a few days prior. I know the fluctuations have to do with my day’s sodium intake. I’ve been having soup and yogurt for lunch, and even the reduced-sodium soups have WAY too much salt.

So, I’m going to make my own! I’m not going to use the vita-mix for it, however. I’m going to do it the old-fashioned way and chop up carrots, celery, tomatoes, cauliflower and mushrooms, plus add in a few other veggies and spices (including a bay leaf), and put it all into a pot of low sodium veggie broth and a little tomato paste. (I found a recipe online but of course I’m going to modify it a little). I want a chunky vegetable soup – it’s more satisfying than a pureed one.

I’ve stopped eating Fage yogurt simply because I found out their yogurt might not be rBGH free. They ‘pledge’ not to use farmers who give their cows the hormone, but there is no guarantee. That’s not good enough for me! (Yeah, I’m picky. So what?) I’ve switched to two other type of yogurts. One is Siggi’s Icelandic-style yogurt – totally delicious and the most natural ingredients in yogurt I’ve ever seen. The other is the Stoneyfield Farm organic Greek Yogurt, which I haven’t yet tried. Both are high in protein and calcium and are very thick and filling.

I hate to admit it, but my stomach still puffs way out after eating yogurt, which means I’m having trouble digesting it properly. Another thing that seems to bloat my stomach up is the salad dressing I’ve been using, which is supposedly all-natural. Kind of a bummer. In my mind, if I don’t digest something easily or properly, it means I shouldn’t be eating it.

I don’t know… I’ve had problems digesting food since I was born. I spent the first year as a newborn spitting up the formula my mother gave me. There were several times when my mother thought she’d lose me because I couldn’t keep anything down and I got really lethargic and weak. (I read about it in my baby book journal, which my mom kept for each of us for the first year of our lives). Then over the course of my childhood, I would go through weird episodes where if I ate too much food at a meal, I’d end up getting very sick several hours later and spend the night vomiting. (Not on purpose. It was awful!) I never knew how much food would cause me to get sick, either. Sometimes out of the blue for no apparent reason, I’d also get sick and vomit. We never found out a cause, and the problem slowly went away over the years until I was 17 when I had one final episode, and it hasn’t happened since. I was also a very skinny child and was always underweight until the month before I turned 18.

All in all I’ve had digestive problems all my life and have always had a ‘tummy’, even during my skinny and thin days. But things in that department have gotten so much better in the past several months because I now pay attention to the food-combining ‘easy digestion’ rules for the most part. (Fruit only on an empty stomach [except bananas], and if eating veggies or salad with a meal, eat them first, then eat the other foods after, and don’t mix starch and protein, etc etc.) Plus I take digestive enzymes if I have a semi-big or mixed meal.

Anyway… I have several bananas I need to eat or freeze today, so I’ll probably have a couple with my lunchtime soup and yogurt. Yesterday morning’s green smoothie had 3 bananas, spinach and strawberries, and it was really thick and creamy! I’m going to try and make some all-natural banana ice cream later as well.

{ Comments on this entry are closed }