My fruit adventures may be over for now, but my vegetable ones are not. I’m going to continue eating several servings per day, especially now that I bought some digestive enzymes! I got two types – one that helps digest protein, fat, dairy and carbs, and another one that helps digest veggies and beans and prevents bloating/gas.
Although my heartburn and stomach pains have finally gone away, so I may not need them.
Anyway, I’ve been running around a lot today and didn’t get a chance to eat lunch. It seems appetite suppression has already kicked in from doing low carb because I actually forgot about lunch. So for dinner, I’m planning to have a large salad and some eggs. I’ve been looking up some recipes online and have decided to experiment a bit with salad ingredients. Tonight’s salad is likely going to have:
- Two kinds of lettuce – butter leaf and red leaf
- Baby spinach leaves
- A few slices of strawberries (so few that the carb count won’t matter)
- Sliced cucumber
- Slices of roma tomatoes
- Fresh mint leaves
- Slices of red pepper
- Grated carrots (If I can find my grater!)
- A little bit of olive oil drizzled on top
- Sunflower and sesame seeds sprinkled on top
Mmmm… does that not sound delicious and inventive (at least for me)? I will take a photograph of the salad if it comes out looking good!
I also got some raspberry vinaigrette and a roasted red pepper & artichoke bruschette topping to try on future salads, plus some other fresh herbs I haven’t tried before. I really need to get my Aerogarden set up so I can grow my own!
While at Akin’s earlier, I grabbed some organic teas – a sleepytime tea with passion fruit & chamomile, a blueberry leaf tea, and some parsley tea. (I love parsley – it really helps with water retention and bloating!)
So, something interesting happened while I was out running errands. Some people I [sort of] knew from my old AA group called me. They told me they knew the reason I had stopped coming to meetings (T and another friend who turned out to be a total nutcase) and said that they miss me, want me to start coming back and want me to be sober and happy. I told them that I haven’t had a problem staying sober lately and was generally happy, so why go to meetings? They acted like they didn’t believe me. (Not in a mean way).
Now I can’t but wonder if someone there has been reading this blog, or perhaps someone saw me going into a liquor store last week when I was buying wine? I mentioned in a couple of previous posts that I had had a couple glasses of Riesling a few nights ago, and another night last week had three glasses of organic chardonnay. That is hardly getting drunk or needing AA, as far as I can see it.
They were really nice and said they missed me a lot. But the phone call sounded like an intervention! Grrr. I know they are worried, but at the same time, just because I don’t go to meetings doesn’t mean I’m depressed or out getting drunk. Quite the opposite, in fact.
I’m sorry to say this, but the majority of the people in the AA program I was going to seem to have either traded their addiction for another one (excessive caffeine, smoking or serial dating) or are horribly self-absorbed people that I wouldn’t want to be anything like even if I never touched another drink in my life. Then there are the ones who have true mental illness. Am I wrong for wanting to separate myself from that? Am I wrong for wanting to focus on other things in life and not worry about ‘not drinking’ every single day? The stringent program and worrying about ‘not drinking’ only made me want to drink even more. My worst binge-drinking episodes were the ones I had during “relapses” in the program.
I don’t know… maybe I’m only fooling myself. But for now I’m OK. Life is OK, I have a spiritual connection with my HP, and there are a good many other things to do in life than stress out over alcohol. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to enjoying a couple of glasses of wine maybe once or twice a week. I learned some really good things from the program while I was in it, such as to not hold grudges or resentments. Before doing my 4th step back in July 2008, I was holding an awful lot of resentment towards various people and things in my past. But today, I can honestly say I hold none. And anytime I do incur a new grudge or anger against someone else, I pray for them for a few nights in a row, and the grudge/anger goes away! (This truly works, by the way.)
Anyway… I told them I may show up to a noon meeting sometime soon. But I doubt I will. If I went to a meeting now I’d be a hypocrite, anyway.
Enough updating for now… I think it’s time to get dinner started. (Although to be honest, I’m still not hungry!)
{ 11 comments }
I just wondered what products you bought to help with the digestion.
Hmm…would be interesting if one of them were reading your blog. You are quite frank and honest on your blog and it wouldn’t surprise me if they took having a few glasses of wine into you falling completely off the wagon.
I will buy 1 bottle of Conundrum (about $30) for a week to 10 days. I will buy the good stuff and savor it. I do the same with cheese and chocolate. My favorite cheese right now is Mimolette(sp?). Also, Trader Joe’s has a great Fat Free Balsamic Vinaigrette with only 5 grams of sugar. At $1.99 a bottle it is a steal, I use it for a dressing and to marinate my pounded chicken.
toasted almonds
strawberries
baby spinach
goat cheese
balsamic vinaigrette w/ curry added
chicken
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone from your AA group was reading this website. Didn’t you used to link to it from your myspace, where you had several of them as friends?
I used to have you as a friend on myspace before you deleted it!
Kathryn that sounds divine. Now you’ve gone and made me hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
I’m happy that you have found something that seems to work for you and makes you happy
I agree with you about your couple glasses of wine, big deal.
Also- thank you so much for the tip about praying for someone when you have a grudge against them, I think that’s exactly what I needed to read today!
T: I got something called ‘Phyto Therapy Digest Eze’ for veggie problems. And for everything else, something called ‘Source Naturals Daily Essential Enzymes’. Both are totally natural with no additves, etc.
Me: True, I forgot about that!
Nita: You’ll be surprised how well the praying thing works. Usually I only have to pray for the person one or two nights before the grudge/resentment disappears.
Kathryn: I miss Trader Joe’s – they aren’t out here in OK but I used to go to one in Massachusetts when I live in NH.
i think separating yourself from the AA stuff means you’re getting better and you’re moving on in your life, although some people might be worried that you’re having a relapse.
all the AAs i know never drink a drop of alcohol again in their life. i know one guy who has been sober for more than 10 years now and still talks like it’s an everyday struggle.
maybe the alcohol was something temporary for you. maybe you’re one of those people who don’t carry it around all their life.
my impression is that you’re doing well, although i have to admit that a couple of glasses of wine per week sounds a bit much to me. when i’m having wine, i only have one glass and i drink it very slowly. but then there are people who drink a glass per day and are still not alcoholics. i guess you will know best what works for you.
Thanks vel. Yeah, I know some people who have been in the program for 15 or 20+ years and still go to meetings every day. One of the people that called me yesterday was a guy who has like 25 years. My ex boyfriend T has 15 years and still has to go to meetings all the time. Then I know a LOT of people who have been in the program for 20+ years and still have either no sobriety or a few months. They spend their lives going in and out.
i am very sorry but …
“I’m sorry to say this, but the majority of the people in the AA program I was going to seem to have either traded their addiction for another one (excessive caffeine, smoking or serial dating) or are horribly self-absorbed people that I wouldn’t want to be anything like even if I never touched another drink in my life. Then there are the ones who have true mental illness. Am I wrong for wanting to separate myself from that? Am I wrong for wanting to focus on other things in life and not worry about ‘not drinking’ every single day?”
this blog sounds like your new addiction. you have trade “not drinking” for “being skinny”. maybe you should attend a e.d. meeting instead of the aa meeting. or maybe both. your life, your choice. i love your blog and want you to be well.
Passerbee you are incorrect. I am 20 or so pounds overweight and trying to lose it. That doesn’t make me obsessed with being skinny. Sheesh.
Rian, I go/went to AA. I haven’t had a drink in 3 years. I do think that AA helps in the beginning and then (for me) it is time to get back to life. That means having friends outside AA and not going to meetings as much. I go to 3 mtgs a week which for now feels right. You are right a lot of people in the rooms are sick. But as the sayings go “wear AA like a loose garment”, “take what you want and leave the rest”.
I am not sure if I will ever be able to drink in moderation and right now am not willing to take the chance with trying to drink a bit Plus I am trying to lose 15lbs! I blame going on Effexor for 1/2 the weight gain. I gained 20lbs in 4 months on that drug.
I guess a test is what you did with the rest of the two bottles. A bottle of wine should be 5 glasses of wine (but in my drinking days a bottle was one glass).
Thanks for the site though. I have been dieting for a week on South Beach with little progress I am not able to be super strict on the fruit so I think I need to find something else. It is annoying I haven’t eaten any, not a bite of sugar like chocolate and no weight loss.
Thanks again!
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