Girl On A Diet

Written on April 29, 2008 – 2:48 pm | by Rian |

Well, I’m officially “back”.

I stepped on the scale this morning and let me tell you, it wasn’t a pretty sight. I’ve actually gained weight in the last couple of weeks.

Oddly enough my clothes all still fit, though… so I’m a little confused.

Time to be honest… I’ve spent the last two weeks going to AA meetings every day, detoxing my body from alcohol, getting a sponsor and starting the “12 steps”.

Yep, ladies, it would appear that I am officially an alcoholic. This is something that once would terrify me to admit, but strangely enough now I don’t mind admitting it. After all, I’ve admitted it out loud to a room full of people no less than 20 times in the past couple of weeks!

I wanted to pretend everything was fine, but really it wasn’t for a while there. I was drinking every single day the entire time I was in NH. Yep. I was drinking more than I ever admitted here and to anyone else. I drank enough for those 3 months that I made myself very, very ill when I tried to stop on my way back here to Tulsa.

When in fact I tried to stop completely, I was going through serious withdrawals, as I had admitted in a previous post that has since been deleted. SERIOUS ones that ended up lasting for almost 2 weeks! When I realized what I had done, I knew without a doubt that yes, I am an alcoholic and I needed help.

So I walked into my first AA meeting nearly 2 weeks ago, still shaking, sick, miserable and stricken with severe anxiety and panic. The people at that meeting were so kind, they all understood what I was going through. I was given phone numbers. I was approached at the end of the meeting by a woman who is now my unofficial sponsor.

It’s a serious thing to admit, but I am admitting it… I have a problem with alcohol. It’s not normal to drink so much in a three month period that you end up with DT’s when you try and stop…

I’m sober now, however, and intend on remaining this way indefinitely. Alcoholism is no joke. After all, it claimed the life of both my parents when I was in my teens… I am an adult child of an alcoholic. (Well, 2 to be exact). I am learning that it’s really not surprising that I ended up also having a problem with an addictive substance.

Anyway… I’m attending meetings every day and will soon attend Al-Anon meetings as well. I’m working the 12 steps to ensure that I never take another drink. I’m making new friends and actually am happier now than I have been in a LONG time! The people I meet at these meetings are some of the funniest, smartest and interesting people I have ever met. AA meetings are not like you see on TV and movies… the people are laughing, joking and have this happy, peaceful glow about them. (Seriously!)

So that’s what has been up with me lately. Weight loss hasn’t been on the front burner since getting back here to Tulsa for obvious reasons.

However, this morning I stepped on the scale and let’s just say it wasn’t good. I have some work to do.

Thankfully, now it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to lose this weight now that I’m not drinking! Man, when I think about those extra calories I would be putting down every night… it’s a wonder I lost any weight at all while I was in NH.

So I’m back on the healthy-eating and exercising thing… I’ve had to restart exercising a bit slower due to the fact that I was so damn ill for a few weeks.

But I’m back…