Yesterday was successful. Already I notice a decreased appetite and overall more energy. I woke up this morning feeling great, in fact!

I stuck to about 35 carbs yesterday. Chicken, more chicken, low-fat cheese, mixed veggies and salad were the foods I ate yesterday. Today I will grill up some fish that I bought at Trader Joe’s yesterday. For breakfast today, I had a high-protein shake from GNC and an egg-white omelet. For lunch, it’s going to be boiled chicken, cheese and salad. Dinner will be the fish and veggies. I’m about to drink my vitamin shake for the day, too…

Now that I’ve stopped drinking again (completely), I want to try going back to a low carb plan, which has always worked wonders for me.

However, I need to do things differently this time around. Past experience has taught me a few things in regards to a low carb diet:

1. I need to make sure I take vitamins & electrolytes every day. I have a weird neurological condition (that has landed me in the hospital before) where every time I lose weight rapidly - my fluid and electrolyte levels get totally out of whack. Therefore, I purchased GNC’s Women’s Ultra Mega Live Well vitamin powder. And trust me, this stuff has everything you need - vitamins, minerals, electrolytes, fiber, greens, and even some herbs thrown in for good measure. Best of all, it’s sugar free and doesn’t taste too bad. (I got the strawberry flavor).

2. No alcohol AT ALL. If necessary, I will attend AA meetings.

3. This time, I will monitor my fat intake as well as carbs. Recent studies have shown that a low carb diet consisting of lean proteins makes you lose weight faster then high-fat proteins. (Think Kimkins).

I have decided to go low carb again simply because when I am doing low carb, I feel so much energy and more overall well-being than with other diets. Not to mention it controls my appetite.

I have to lose some serious poundage in the next few weeks… I am planning to visit my family in California next month, and if they see me looking this way, it won’t be good. I haven’t seen them in 3 years and vice-versa, and I found out both my sisters are lighter than me right now. Gulp. I have some serious work to do.

I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t care what the scale says - I only care about what size I am. This new development came after I spent several hours in junior stores such as “Forever 21″ and “Deb” in the mall, trying on pants.

I learned that even if you are size 11 or 12 in most clothes, in junior/hip clothing stores, you are a 13/14. And let me tell you, it’s a damn depressing day when you are suddenly a size 13. I may be 29, almost 30 years old, but I like to dress trendy. Now all I need is my body back… ::sob:: I make sure that what I wear flatters my figure or at least hides most of the bulges. I’m originally from Southern California - land of the body-obsessed, and some things have stayed with me. For instance, no matter how big I get, I won’t leave the house if my stomach is bulging out of my shirt, or fat rolls are flapping around. I have clever ways of hiding the bulges. (It’s called zip-up hoodies, layers and slimming pants…)

Confession: I bought a couple of new size 10 pants in the past couple of weeks - adult sized 10, that is - and they aren’t fitting me at the moment. (Meanwhile, my old size 10’s are getting looser! WTF?) So apparently I am now a regular size 12, and size 13/14 in junior clothing.

Upset doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this. I’ve been slacking off lately with my diet. Falling into my old habits of partying, drinking, munchies. I am absolutely disgusted at myself for what I have done to my once-perfect figure. When does it end and when do I learn to develop strong self-control?

The only thing I have kept consistent throughout this whole thing is exercise. And I mean every single day - at least 20 minutes of exercise in some form. Most days I average around 30 or 40. I no longer get those fast heartbeats at night, so that is at least ONE good thing.

Onto other things……..

My menu for today:

Breakfast - Mixed fruit smoothie (5 different fruits - sugar, fiber, lots of vitamins and minerals)
Lunch- Boiled chicken breast, organic brown rice (Protein, complex carb, fiber)
Dinner- More chicken, cottage cheese, 5-lettuce salad (no dressing) (Protein, protein/fat, vegetable)
2 alcoholic drink maximum for day (baaaaaaaaaad)

I also did 15 tough minutes on the bike and some stretching and toning exercises, plus got some walking in. I will get more before the day is over.

As for the scale, I haven’t gotten on it for a while and don’t intend to for another week!

I have some questions:

1. How is it that… I have gained several pounds of water weight from PMS, yet my pants are suddenly really loose?

2. Why is it that… I have been eating super-healthy and exercising, yet the scale hasn’t moved? (Ok, PMS is responsible right now, but… argghghggh).

3. Why is it that… it seems like I’ll never get out of the 160’s????????????

If anyone can find answers to those questions, I’ll be grateful.

Smoothies, plain boiled organic chicken breasts, low fat cheese, yogurt, !00% organic bran cereal… the food I’ve been eating lately has been amazing. I have to admit I have a LOT more energy these days. Despite having bought a car Thursday and doing a lot of driving, I still manage to get a lot of exercise.

Now I’m just waiting for results. Anyday now…

I decided to try a fruit smoothie detox program (that I made up). I went and bought a blender and tons of frozen fruit, as well as bananas and orange juice. So today and maybe tomorrow, I’m living on fruit smoothies. After all, it’s in the 90’s outside.

This is today’s intake of food:

B - Peach Smoothie - 275 calories
(frozen peaches, ice, orange juice and yogurt)

L - Strawberry/banana smoothie & side of eggs - 360 calories
(1 banana, a cup of frozen strawberries, milk and orange juice, and 2 servings of egg-beater egg whites)

I’m not sure what I’ll have for dinner, but probably skinless/boneless chicken and a small side dish. Plus a couple of drinks later tonight when I’m out.

I’ve got to rave about homemade fruit smoothies. Somehow they fill me up. Plus they take a long time to drink (because I purposely make them thick) that by the time I’m done drinking them, I’m not even thinking about eating anything. And with all the fruit, yogurt and oj I’m taking in, I’m getting lots of vitamins, potassium and other nutrients.

As for my weight, I refuse to get on the scale for a while. All it does is depress me.