Sizing Issues

I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t care what the scale says - I only care about what size I am. This new development came after I spent several hours in junior stores such as “Forever 21″ and “Deb” in the mall, trying on pants.

I learned that even if you are size 11 or 12 in most clothes, in junior/hip clothing stores, you are a 13/14. And let me tell you, it’s a damn depressing day when you are suddenly a size 13. I may be 29, almost 30 years old, but I like to dress trendy. Now all I need is my body back… ::sob:: I make sure that what I wear flatters my figure or at least hides most of the bulges. I’m originally from Southern California - land of the body-obsessed, and some things have stayed with me. For instance, no matter how big I get, I won’t leave the house if my stomach is bulging out of my shirt, or fat rolls are flapping around. I have clever ways of hiding the bulges. (It’s called zip-up hoodies, layers and slimming pants…)

Confession: I bought a couple of new size 10 pants in the past couple of weeks - adult sized 10, that is - and they aren’t fitting me at the moment. (Meanwhile, my old size 10’s are getting looser! WTF?) So apparently I am now a regular size 12, and size 13/14 in junior clothing.

Upset doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this. I’ve been slacking off lately with my diet. Falling into my old habits of partying, drinking, munchies. I am absolutely disgusted at myself for what I have done to my once-perfect figure. When does it end and when do I learn to develop strong self-control?

The only thing I have kept consistent throughout this whole thing is exercise. And I mean every single day - at least 20 minutes of exercise in some form. Most days I average around 30 or 40. I no longer get those fast heartbeats at night, so that is at least ONE good thing.

Onto other things……..

My menu for today:

Breakfast - Mixed fruit smoothie (5 different fruits - sugar, fiber, lots of vitamins and minerals)
Lunch- Boiled chicken breast, organic brown rice (Protein, complex carb, fiber)
Dinner- More chicken, cottage cheese, 5-lettuce salad (no dressing) (Protein, protein/fat, vegetable)
2 alcoholic drink maximum for day (baaaaaaaaaad)

I also did 15 tough minutes on the bike and some stretching and toning exercises, plus got some walking in. I will get more before the day is over.

As for the scale, I haven’t gotten on it for a while and don’t intend to for another week!