April 2007

I’m still planning to weigh myself tomorrow morning (Friday) when I get up. As soon as I do, I will post the weight here.

Here is a quick catch-up on my weight/numbers: back when I weighed myself at my friend’s house at the beginning of April – when I posted that I had gained weight but I didn’t reveal the number, I actually weighed… 172. (When I saw that number, I almost lost it). However, I was majorly PMS’ing. Plus, it was at the height of my drinking and eating.

Then last Friday, I went out and bought my brand new digital scale, and I weighed 165. (Or 165.5 to be exact – this scale does 1 decimal point.)

So tomorrow morning, I’ll be weighing myself again.

I’ve done well the past couple of days with my calories. So I’m hopeful… maybe the scale will move for me. Maybe…

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An interesting thing I noticed in my thrice-daily weighings: my weight fluctuates regularly throughout the day up to 2.5 pounds. I wonder if that is normal?

Today’s weighings cheered me up immensely… I’ll reveal why on Friday, when I weigh myself officially and post it here.

Today is going well so far. I got up around 10am and have so far eaten about 650 calories. I am planning on eating dinner at my friend J’s house, and I’ve allotted myself 500 calories at her house. She is preparing oven-baked, skinless, baked chicken, which is pretty healthy. I usually have one chicken breast which according to this site is about 86 calories. I’m sure she’ll also be making some sort of pasta side dish, but they all come with calorie counts. 500 is plenty of calories to play around with!

I just did a 20 minute intense bicycle workout and feel amazing!

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Another day has gone by, and this one was even better than the previous… I stuck to my calorie count, got a very solid bike workout in, AND didn’t have any alcohol at all.

I have to confess that knowing I will come to this blog and write about my day’s diet has helped keep me in check. I have committed myself to being honest in this blog about what I am eating and drinking. On Sunday, knowing I totally blew my diet and that I had to come here to admit it… well, I dreaded it.

I will officially weigh myself this Friday and post the number again. Another little dirty secret here: I have stepped on and off my new digital scale several times a day since buying it. (See why I originally didn’t want to buy one??) I don’t like the numbers I’m seeing, but I know something will give, and soon. I’ve been eating 4-6 small meals each day, drinking more water, and making an effort to get out and about. Tomorrow (Wed) will be Day 3 doing it successfully. I’m going to try my hardest to stick to 1200 calories tomorrow AND get a workout in.

Two major tips I learned today: Watching a subtitle movie while sitting on the bike is an excellent way to make the time fly. I watched 25 minutes of “Central Station” today during my stationary bicycle workout – a movie in Portuguese with English subtitles, and the time flew! It’s as good as reading and watching a movie at the same time- enough to keep the most bored of us occupied. Secondly, I started my day with protein – grilled chicken and egg whites. I found myself with a lot more energy throughout the morning hours that I didn’t have previously.

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I”m about to go to bed, but I wanted to do a quick post… I did it! I managed to stay within 50 calories of my goal today – about 1300, to be exact.

I went out again tonight with my friend, but I managed to stick to ONLY one half of a drink (which I counted in my calorie amount) and drank ice water the rest of the evening. No fried, greasy, sugary food.

Right now, I am slightly hungry (my tummy is feeling a bit empty). But I am envisioning myself in shorts, and that thought alone is keeping me out of the fridge and cupboards.

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I have this friend – one of my best female friends, in fact, whom I’ll call “J” here. I hung out with her pretty much the entire weekend. (Well, Saturday night and then several hours Sunday evening as well). J knows that I am counting calories now and trying not to drink much. But when we hang out at her house, which we did, it’s nearly impossible because she always pulls out her bottle of Goldschlager and offers up shots. Or she will make all kinds of food which is always calorie-laden and unhealthy. (On a side note, we are about the same height and I found out today we weigh about the same – she also wants to lose weight but isn’t really trying to).

So… Saturday night, we did shots of Goldschlager. Lots of them. (I made up for the calories by not eating much of anything). Sunday, after our usual talk of “Damn I can’t wait to lose weight” and “ugh I feel so fat” (our usual fat talk), she goes and orders pizza. THEN she makes the most tempting foods ever – fried mozzarella sticks, fries, etc. And this is when she knows that I am on a diet and trying not to drink. I only had a couple of each, but still… WHY does a person who is supposed to be your friend do that? Is it sabotage? I know I am responsible for my own diet. But why do people offer things to people when they know the person is trying NOT to do them?

So needless to say, I blew my diet Sunday big-time. Not only that but I drank way too much over the weekend. I feel like absolute crap right now, most likely from all the alcohol. I am definitely not drinking this coming week at all.

But it bugs me. I mean, every time I stop drinking, either J or B offers me alcohol non-stop. Or when they know I’m on a diet, they offer fattening foods. I have willpower, but dammit, not much! (Or I wouldn’t be in this shape to begin with). What am I supposed to do? Hang out alone? Grrrr.

The good news is, I have tomorrow’s entire menu planned out, and it totals 1250 calories. It consists of 3 meals and 2 snacks. Some of the items I’ll be eating is grapes, oatmeal, green tea, salad, yogurt, and those egg-beater egg things. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll type up the entire day’s menu.

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It’s Saturday and absolutely gorgeous out, so I figured I would only write a quick post. I did excellent with my calories yesterday – stuck to roughly 1500 as planned. It was a little more difficult than I thought it would be though. I am used to eating bigger portions.

Not only did I keep the calories in check, but I also ate lots of salad and vegetables. As a matter of fact, I made a huge salad yesterday that I’m keeping in a big container, and having one or two bowls of it per day. The salad is made with these ingredients:

• Iceberg salad mix (iceberg lettuce, cabbage and carrots)
• Spring mix of salad (baby spinach, baby leaf, baby romaine lettuce)
• Diced raw carrots
• Grape tomatoes
• Diced celery (yuck, but oh well, it’s healthy)
• Mushrooms
• Tiny cubes of shape white and yellow cheddar cheese
• Diced red, green, orange and yellow peppers

Sounds healthy huh? The cheese is the only thing that has significant calories.

I got a new pair of contact lenses yesterday with an updated prescription, so when I look in the mirror I can see several details I previously was unable to. (Scary). So, I stood naked in front of my mirror today and noticed some stretch marks that I hadn’t seen before… ugh. I have a LOT of work cut out for me in order to get in shape. I’m so glad I started now… by next month I should be able to at least wear short-sleeved shirts without feeling as slobbish as I do now.

The good news is that the worse I notice myself looking, the more of a motivation it is when I feel like cheating on my diet. (Gotta try and stay positive!)

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So, I had a 360-calorie breakfast, am eating a 310-calorie lunch, and have two more meals planned out for my 2nd midday meal and dinner. My 2nd midday meal is going to be 450 calories and my dinner, 380. That equals out to 1500 calories. (I am doing a four or five meal per day plan and counting every calorie I put into my mouth, liquid or solid). 1500 may seem like too many for some of you, but as I discovered today… I’ve been eating WAY more than that, so I will begin to lose weight regardless. After a few days, I’ll drop down to 1300 or so. Plus, I’m planning to be very active for the next several days, as the weather here is FINALLY nice.

And let me just say… no wonder I am overweight! As a matter of fact, I am surprised that I have not hit obesity. After adding up the calories and foods and figuring out the calories for the portions I’ll be eating… I realized how much I have truly been eating for the past couple of months. And it is a LOT. When I saw how small the portions are for these 300-450 cal meals, I realized that I’ve probably been eating around 2500-3000 calories per day!

I did the exercise bike last night for 15 minutes. Today, I already have done a fair amount of walking and plan to do another mile or two by the end of the day.

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I went to the store and bought a damn scale. And my new weight is…

165. So, I have actually gained since starting this journal.

I’m 5′5 and I weigh 165.

I have a LOT of work to do. 45 pounds of work.

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Ok.. another new layout. In case you haven’t noticed. This one I actually made myself. I actually rather like it.

My fridge is stocked with tons of healthy food and I’m ready to get down to business. In order for me to bother keeping this website, I have to really make a full effort to lose the 40 pounds I set out to lose. So… time to buy a scale. Time to write down calories and meals that I will plan to eat. I’m heading to Super Wal-Mart as soon as I finish this post. (It’s actually 12:26am here, but the Wal-mart is open 24/7). I’m a terrible night owl and am usually up most of the night anyway. May as well make use of it!

I sort-of had an epiphany today. I sat myself down and said: ____, why did you bother starting this website? Seriously? You aren’t doing a damn thing to lose weight. You’ve stopped exercising and you still eat horribly. OK, you stopped drinking, but it’s not enough. It’s time to work hard! Stop slacking off! (Yes, I was hard on myself today). But I needed the pep talk.

So I’m headed down to Wal-Mart to get a scale. As soon as I’m back, I will get on the damn thing and weigh myself, and post it here – no matter WHAT it says. Gulp.

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